Like Talking Heads, The ARU Has Stopped Making Sense

As we wait for the next development in the Australian Super Rugby scandal, your columnist has paused to consider what soundtrack would best sum up Cameron Clyne and the ARU Board.

It was hard to go past the Talking Heads album Stop Making Sense. Especially when you consider the following lyrics from the last song on the extended version of that classic album, Crosseyed and Painless:

“Facts are simple and facts are straight

Facts are lazy and facts are late

Facts all come with points of view

Facts don’t do what I want them to

Facts just twist the truth around

Facts are living turned inside out

Facts are getting the best of them

Facts are nothing on the face of things.”

One fact which isn’t twisted, late or lazy is that the ARU’s decision to spurn billionaire Andrew Forrest’s pledge to invest circa $50 million into Australian rugby defies logic. It is beyond comprehension, a view echoed across the Tasman on NZ Talkback Radio yesterday.

In the words of Talking Heads’ inegmatic frontman David Byrne, the ARU stopped making sense a long time ago. As the headline screamed across the back page of this morning’s Australian newspaper: Truth Goes Missing In Force Fight.

How NSW, Queensland and the ACT – and all the other State and Territory unions who would directly benefit from Twiggy’s rugby funding at a grassroots level – could stay sheepishly silent on the sidelines throughout all of this is equally baffling.

And if that wasn’t enough, then how’s this for size.

Your correspondent has it on good authority that one of the architects of the ARU’s decision to axe the Force, the ARU’s recently-departed COO Rob Clarke – has popped up on the interview panel for the vacant Rebels coaching position!

With all that in mind, your columnist wondered which Talking Heads song would be best suited to finish this column: Swamp, Slippery People, Life During Wartime or perhaps Burning Down The House.

Stay tuned…