Round 6 Match reports

Premier grade

Saturday saw the Neddies 1st grade team hit the road for a fifth time from six games to take on Perth-Bayswater as the sunny conditions prevailed for yet another weekend. Apart from prop Mark “Rocket” Davies taking over the goal kicking duties and an unconfirmed sighting of international jet-setter Rex Julian on the sideline, perhaps the most remarkable thing about the game was that the penalty count was higher than the final score line.It was Rocket who registered first points for Neddies with a penalty goal, the accuracy of which was honed from an exhaustive Johnny Wilkinson-like practice regime and video sessions with sharpshooter Daryl Halligan. Well, Rocket did at least have a couple of toe-pokes at goal before the game anyway. When Saul Chase scored from a break from his centre partner Ryan McLeod, Neddies were out to 8-3. And when Rocket added the extras to a try from the blockbusting McLeod, Neddies went to the break 15-6 up. While coach Tony Ball would no doubt have lamented the mistakes made by his players at crucial times, it was the penalty count which dominated discussion in the second half.Perth converted one of those penalties into points to narrow the gap to 15-9 and for a while it looked like an upset could be on the cards, with less than a converted try separating the teams.Eventually, it was that man McLeod who stepped up to the plate again with a second try get Neddies out of the danger zone. Having relieved Rocket of his kicking duties, replacement five-eighth Mike Botes slotted a long-range penalty goal and a conversion for a final score line of 25-9.While the three-try effort didn’t earn a bonus point, the win left Neddies unbeaten at the top of the log with Wests-Subiaco emerging from the pack to claim second spot. And Rocket’s five point bag makes him the most prolific goal kicker in the front row.The game also saw another Neddies debutant in globe-trotting lock Sam “Loaf” Madans. No rugby this long weekend, with Neddies back home at The Foreshore the following Saturday in a top of the table clash with Wests. As for the reported presence of Rex Julian at the game, apparently he had a few hours in transit between flights.

Reserve Grade

The only thing brighter than the day that welcomed back front rower Marlen Walker to the Neddies playing ranks was the glow given off from his hot pink playing boots. Although Neds had the sun to face in the first half – it was Baysie who appeared blinded by Walker as he led the charge up front against the big black and white pack. The opening assault saw Neddies earn a handy penalty inside the attacking twenty two which was calmly slotted by flyhalf Rob Boulle. A messy restart from the visitors then led to a period of play requiring some vigilant defence to hold out the Baysie attack. Neddies managed to gain some possession and midfielder Joe Malinavitihevu broke free to find loose forward Jeandre Van Der Weisthauzen in support who touched down.

Also in his return game after a lengthy holiday – fullback Jake Stevens showed his vision and skill on counter attack and defence. He was rewarded with a try out wide after a great passage of constructive play from the Nedlands pack that then linked with a flying backline. The side line conversion from Boulle another remarkable kicking effort. The ensuing restart enabled back rower and captain Ollie Baissac to split the defence and race away 40 metres only to be cut down by a pursuing tackler. The subsequent ruck saw gasping referee Hilgendorf penalise Neddies in a promising attacking position. However Baysie missed touch and Neddies countered, Malinavitihevu again slipping through to find flying winger Brian Sanders on his shoulder who fought his way over for a try in the left corner. The game fitting for the conditions continued as the arm wrestle for possession and territory enabled play between up and down the park with both side giving the ball a lot of width. After another string of phases dynamic loose forward Kristen Crowsy Lawrence showed determination and a clean set of heels to race down the touchline and score right on halftime. A solid effort in the opening half giving Neddies a handy 27-0 lead at the break.

The second half did not start as planned for Nedlands with the opening kick off travelling out on the full. From the subsequent scrum Baysie attacked wide and found themselves camped deep inside the Lions half. Resolute defence again kept Neds line intact and they somehow regained possession. Halfback Paul Nielson had been testing the ruck edge well and again breached the defence enabling Malinavitihevu to race away and finish off an eighty metre try. A string of exchanging penalties prevented both sides from gaining any momentum – until Baysie finally broke the previous stout Neddies defence and score. A shoulder injury to Boulle allowed Stevens to run the show from flyhalf however maintaining possession against the resurging hosts was proving difficult. Nielson again found a hole in close to the breakdown and burst through – thankfully managing to link with replacement winger Ryan Doherty after a ‘Benji Marshall side step’ attempt went slightly pear shaped. Stevens converted from in front. Back on the attack Baysie again broke the tiring defence managing to score after a string of phases. Neddies, determined to finish out the game well executed a string of phases of their own together. A clever double round from midfielder Neihana Christian gave him space to glide through almost untouched and score by the sticks. The conversion gave Neddies a comprehensive and well earned 44-14 win and coach Boycie McClutchie a fitting 35th birthday present.

Under 20s

Thirsty Thirds

The scene was set and the crowd hushed. The hot sun rose high in the sky, only to disappear with the arrival of new recruit  Ollie. Alvin Stardust Lau kicked off and Baysie were immediately on the attack, as you do, when you have the ball. Neddies, in contrast, were in defence…momentarily until Baysie found some space on the edge and sliced through. Baysie looked dangerous and pressed deep into Neddies territory and like Hirohito and his Forces’ relentless march through the Pacific, it seemed nothing could stem the tide. But someone forget to tell Yeatsy. The little midget rose like a giant and like the Rats of Tobruk he dug in at the ruck, got low to the ground (which was pretty easy for his to be honest) and stole ball after ball to keep the Neddies line safe. Barney Suter and The White Masai Rostin were his Lieutenants and forced 3 impressive penalties providing critical cover fire to the Neddies troops. Each time Nails Naylor eyed up the quick tap, but wisely the ball was handed to Alvin to kick for touch. With Stardust in his eyes, he skewed each and every one sending them straight to Baysie’s devastating winger. With ample practice he was ready for the third one and bolted straight for the try line at a pace that showed that while he was doing plenty of weights, he wasn’t forgetting the speedwork. Then he jinked, stepped and razzled and dazzled his way over and notice was served. Baysie were here to play. Nails should have quick-tapped.

Neddies went back to basics and dug in. Braced for the battle they prepared to stand and deliver. The infamous WAVE call rang out and the forward troops advanced as battalion after battalion travelled the well worn arc around the corner of the ruck finally putting into action precisely what they had been taught in Boot Camp at the Thirsty Thirds own Kapooka-at-the-Foreshore on a Thursday night. As Baysies troops remained pinned down Percy Nality Bulabulasovasova stuck his head above the parapet. He saw an opportunity and demanded the ball, captivating the defence. Perky seized the moment and rushed the trenches executing a chip and chase, regathering to score untouched.

The front moved to the left flank and, while Baysie continued to cause trouble at the breakdown, the Neddies pack began to dominate utilising superior firepower and an arsenal of strategy developed on the cold dark nights at the Foreshore. As bombardments reigned down and Baysie fought hard, Neddies radio man Timmy ‘The Naughty Pig’ BadHam called for the big guns. Good hands on the line saw the ball shifted to Monty on the left wing as Jerry’s Brother Chad Collins executed a pin point and the stocky youngster cranked up the pace and like a cruise missile launched himself into the corner and over the line for a magnificent try, mullet trailing gloriously behind.
Changes were made as the wounded were replaced with new Generals. Neddies fired the first shot high into the sky and the special forces were on the ground when the infantry arrived, laying the groundwork. Led by WYGD Chong—Sue they ripped and tore, tore and ripped and at times did a combination of the two. Man Giant Ollie moved and the sun shone on the ground again. Some disjointed phase play worked its way down the ground and Neddies had a line out on the left corner. Lets Go Fishing in the Lake rubbed his hands together. This was his territory. Like an overweight Piri Weepu with the skills of Rene Ranger this is where a Lake can become an Ocean.
Stardust got it off the top from The White Masai and swung it wide. Wagga caught it on the run and dummied here and there. A gap opened up and took the chance slicing through with a hop and a skip and swift left palm to dive over under the posts. Neddies continued to camp down in Baysies half. Don Navin got involved. His mind drew lines right through the opposition and his body ran them. The Strueys linked up, as Strueys do, and they thought about home. Baysie regrouped and pressured the Neddies line. Finally their Strike Weapon was wheeled into place. Far from his wing and a long way from home he took a short ball and busted through, this time waiving his right to a jink or a step and if it pleases the court, going straight for the line and over before the defence could mount a convincing argument.
But the Neddies juggernaut prevailed against a staunch Bayswater and while that’s it for this war, no cease fire has been agreed and we’ll meet again. Final score 41-12  BOG:  Yeatsy (3), Alvin (2) Percy and Monty (1 point each)


A hot weekend once again as the Nomads marched on to the field to take on Perth Bayswater. It was an evenly matched battle from the start as Baysie kept their defence strong against our relentless attacks and vice versa. The Nomads worked hard like the Crazy Horses that they are and forced Baysie to commit mistakes. This paved the way for their first try in the 11th minute, scored by none other than the captain for the day Hayden “The Hammer” Smith  who cut up the opposition back line  to score under the post. Tony “Pepperoni” Mladnovski went on to covert the try successfully. The Nomad forwards were hitting it up again straight from the kick off, working their way up to the try line. A well timed pass from Keith “Benji” Brady saw Simon “Mr. Perfect” Ruri blaze  down the sideline to score the Nomad’s second try in the 18th minute, conversion unsuccessful. Five minutes to go in the first half and ‘Mr Perfect’ is in the action once more. The bright sunlight reflecting glaringly from his ‘nude nut’ leaved the Baysie defenders dazed and confused as he powers past them score his second and the Nomad’s 3rd try. The second half began and the battle got violent as the intensity in tackles made could be felt well outside the field of play. For a long period the teams held each other at a stalemate but then the super-sub Brett ‘Bangkok’ Topham enters the fray. With his first touch he breaks four tackles in a slashing run from the 22 m to halfway to put the Nomads hard on attack. Unsatisfied with this initial effort ‘Bangers’ continues to make good runs linking up with the evergreen centre George “491 Senior Grade Games for Neddies” Forster-Jones. Eventually ‘Bangers’ excellent support play saw him on the receiving end of a sweet final pass from a breakaway by our new flanker Max ‘Pommie’ Fryar and he dived over under the posts to record the Nomads 4th try in the 51st minute, conversion successful. Then just when everything seemed satisfactorily settled for the Nomads, a last minute lapse in defence and several silly mistakes by players who shall remain unnamed (but who looked a lot like Magnum and Spotty) lead to a try from the opposition in the last minute of the game.  Final Score 26 – 5 to the Nomads. A good battle and a satisfying bonus point win to the Nomads.  Best on Ground points went to: Tref ‘T Rex’ Thomas (3 points) Simon Ruri (2 points) and Brett Topham (I point)


This week saw the Cavalier gypsy fair set up at bayswater, and with no rugby last weekend  the Cavs started off as rusty as Maddie Mccanns push bike but weathered the storm early. With the comp being a bit like a cat going through a band saw with the top half pulling away fast from the bottom half the cavs knew they were in for a battle. Perth started strong using there size around the rucks to make inroads in our defence, but the Cavs as always absorbed it easier than one of Nuttys adult nappies. With 5 classic Cavalier tries to secure a bonus point win it was the disallowed try that had the 3,650 crowd on there feet when Marv ‘ the jew’ Banks bust open the defence drew and passed to Ed then back to Marv then back to Ed and so on another 36 times before the last passed drifted forward. Player of the day was Matty T still moon walking through the defence and launching attacking raids from deep in our half. Chooky monster had a perfect day with the boot with 5 from 5 which reflects nicely on his kicking coach Toot. Saturdays game was our 11th game in a row on the road so our with our first home game in two weeks we find our selves a little like that lovable little alien ET longing for home.With a week off next sat the cavs now get to focus on the 141 beer challenge at the paddo and beat our last time 2hrs 12mins. Till next time Cavs stay black stay deadly.

Note= not all stats are accurate